Monday, January 9, 2012

Openings

For my WIP, Beautiful/Wild, I keep rewriting the beginning of chapter 1. I can't help it. I feel like I should have the perfect beginning before I can continue the story. Once I feel unsatisfied with the beginning, I stop and start over again. It's frustrating. I finally came up with a new beginning, so hopefully, I stick with it!

Look at my different openers:

#1 (02.15.11)

Little girls have big dreams. They want to be Cinderella, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty. They want to wear pretty dresses, look model-beautiful, and kiss Prince Charming. Most of all, they want their happily ever after.

In my world, those dreams come true. Little girls do grow up to be Cinderella, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty, and have pretty dresses, model looks, and Prince Charming.

It’s the happily ever after I have a problem with.

It doesn’t exist.

#2 (02.17.11)

At five minutes before eleven at night, I sneak out of my house with a batch of gingerbread cookies still warm, wrapped inside a white handkerchief.

#3 (02.17.11)

A cookie starts to crumble.

#4 (02.17.11)

I am Cinderella but not the Cinderella. I am one of hundreds in the Anserini Society.

#5 (02.17.11)

I am Cinderella but not the Cinderella, and I am escaping my home to meet with a Prince Charming.

#6 (02.17.11)

I am Cinderella but not the Cinderella, and I am slipping out of my home past curfew to meet with a Prince Charming. I have five minutes to get to the border of Anserini, in time for the patrols to change.

#7 (02.17.11)

Cinderella dressed in yellow, went upstairs to kiss her fellow. How many kisses did she give?

#8 (02.19.11)

I am Cinderella but not the Cinderella. With the moonlight touching my back and the darkness hugging me close, I lose a shoe as I hurry down the path. Once I feel gravel digging into the bottom of my foot, I turn around and search for the black flat. and I am slipping out of my home past curfew to meet with a Prince Charming. I have five minutes to get to the border of Anserini, in time for the patrols to change.

#9 (02.19.11)

I am Cinderella but not the Cinderella. I lose a shoe but not the shoe. I am meeting with my Prince Charming but not the Prince Charming.

With the moonlight falling heavy my back and the darkness surrounding me, I sneak out of my home.

lose a shoe as I hurry down the path. Once I feel gravel digging into the bottom of my foot, I turn around and search for the black flat. and I am slipping out of my home past curfew to meet with a Prince Charming. I have five minutes to get to the border of Anserini, in time for the patrols to change.

#10 (02.19.11)

With the darkness keeping close to me and masking the moonlight that lingers on my skin, I sneak out of my home. and stay within the shadows. The streetlights light up the sidewalk

lose a shoe as I hurry down the path. Once I feel gravel digging into the bottom of my foot, I turn around and search for the black flat. and I am slipping out of my home past curfew to meet with a Prince Charming. I have five minutes to get to the border of Anserini, in time for the patrols to change.

I find this amusing.

I am Cinderella but not the Cinderella. I lose a shoe but not the shoe. I am meeting with my Prince Charming but not the Prince Charming.

I wonder how many other Cinderellas in Anserini have lost a shoe.

#11 (02.19.11-02.20.11)

Darkness keeps close to me and masks the moonlight that lingers on my skin as I sneak out of my home. Little lights are mounted low on walkways and paths all through the town of Anserini, but they only light up when they sense movement. I cannot be seen out after curfew. I cannot afford a strike on my record when I am this close to my eighteenth birthday. Instead, I stay within the shadows behind the row of houses on my block, wandering through my neighbors’ backyards and using the moon and stars as my light source.

#12 (03.09.11)

There are 579 princesses-to-be from the age of 12 to 17 currently sitting in the school.

#13 (03.09.11)

I bump into two Cindrellas in a row as I learn how to…

#14 (03.09.11)

“Arabella, you’re a Belle,” Princess ________ said a little too loudly after I burst through the door, late for class. The worst part was that everyone could smell the reason why. “Tame that beast of a face.”

#15 (08.09.11)

If this were a true fairy tale, Arabella Villeneuve would live up to her beautiful name, smell roses in bloom all day long within the comfort of a magical palace, and have her princely and handsome beast at her side—after the transformation, of course. Instead, she had mud up to her knees, mud tangled in her hair, and mud smeared across her face. There were no roses growing on the ranch, not when the animals would munch on the petals like trampled on grass and hay, regardless of the thorns. The only beast within her sight was the cow that wouldn’t stop blowing hot air in her face.

#16 (10.31.11-11.02.11)

Her stepfather had committed a terrible crime tonight.

He brought a rose into their home.

Hiding behind the partially opened door to her stepfather’s study, Arabella Villeneuve pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. Then another and another until all she could taste on her tongue was the orange-scented air, but she still couldn’t breathe. Her trembling lips weren’t able to contain any of the air. Her fingers on the doorframe tingled as panic spread throughout her body, striking her fast-beating heart the most. It was fortunate that she hadn’t fainted.

#17 (01.06.12)

It was beautiful. So it was a shame that it must die.

3 comments:

Kailia Sage said...

WOW. That is a lot of openers and I like mostly all of them. Some of them yeah, are a bitt off but others are just perfect. The first one? Totally spot on.

Have you decided which one to use?

Chen Yan Chang said...

Hehe, you can see how the POV changed from first to third, how the tense changed from present to past, and how the mood turned from humorous to serious!

#15 and #16 had complete chapters before I decided to change to a new beginning. I'm currently working on #17 :)

Oh, and part of #1 is in my prologue.

Burgandy Ice said...

Too fun!! It is tricky to find the right beginning. I find myself sorting through trying to glean some ideas of where you're going with your story between them all, and I'm very intrigued!! :-) I like #10 for jumping into the action while conveying that idea of alternate princesses. But you're right... it really depends on tense and humor and what the flavor of the whole story is and the chapter and everything. #17 is obviously startling but I don't get enough to have more of an opinion.

How fun!! :-)

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